4 years ago today I woke up in a hospital bed having been unconscious for 12 hours. I’d suffered from Status Epilepticus which is when you have a seizure which last more than 30 minutes or several without regaining consciousness in between- if untreated in can be fatal!
I don’t really remember the night, just waking up and not really knowing what was going on. My mum almost immediately told me about how the paramedics had got blood all over my carpet- after all it’s not very easy to put a cannula in someone’s arm whilst they’re convulsing. They discharged me pretty much as soon as I was awake- that’s thing with the NHS it’s all about clearing beds. And although physically there wasn’t anything wrong with me I still wasn’t ready to go home.
That night I was too scared to go to bed but felt like hell so I lay down on the sofa with my mum and tried to relax but instead I begun fitting again. This time however I wasn’t having an epileptic seizure- after another week in hospital I was diagnosed with Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder. Basically my coping mechanism is to make myself fit.
These non-epileptic attacks continued for a long time- they’re basically the reason I was kicked out of school. And although they’re mainly under control now I still feel the need to role my eyes or tense up every now and then.
When I look back it’s hard to believe that all of this was 4 years ago! And it’s strange because the last 4 years have been the worst and the best of my life so far. So much has happened, I am now a completely new person in a completely different place both physically and mentally. And I have to I say am genuinely proud when I look back and see just how much I’ve been through.
Life is very rarely easy for me but I won’t let it stop me from achieving what I know I can. These past 4 years I have completed a BTEC, done my first year at university, had my first boyfriend and my first break up, made more friends than I count, written for both The Guardian and Huffington Post, done work experience at the biggest media agency in the country and done so much work for Great Ormond Street Hospital all whilst fighting Epilepsy, Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder, Asperger Syndrome and Depression!
I think it’s fair to say- I’m on fire!
Thank you to absolutely everyone who has supported me the last four years. Whether that’s my friends, family, the London ambulance services, my tutors at College and Uni or the 56 people who follow this blog! I couldn’t have done any of this without you.